The Gray Divorce Podcast: Episode 24 Ready for Divorce? A Chat with "Recovering" Divorce Lawyer Karen Covy
In episode 24 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I speak with Karen Covy. Karen is a certified divorce coach and consultant, mediator, author, speaker, and collaborative divorce professional. She also describes herself as a “recovering” divorce attorney.
The Divorce System
Karen discusses how she was part of the divorce system and grew disillusioned. She talks about the high rate of burnout among divorce professionals and the level of stress in the job. She became determined to teach people about the divorce process with the goal of easing the financial and emotional stress that can often be part of the process. Karen states that her job as a coach is to empower her clients to become the CEO of their own divorce. The key is to take responsibility and become as educated as possible as to how the process works.
Are you Ready for Divorce?
Karen's website has a quiz which essentially asks, “Are you ready for divorce?” The quiz is not the simplistic type of quiz you often see on websites. In fact, there's a complicated logic tree in the quiz that's designed to separate the people who have a chance at saving their marriage. Karen doesn't want people to jump into a divorce if they don't need to. At the same time, if the marriage is not going to work, she doesn't believe that it's good for anyone to stay in a bad marriage for decades.
Karen and I discuss the myth that divorce professionals are pro-divorce. We are, instead, in favor of living a happy, meaningful purposeful life. And if that can't be done within the context of an existing marriage or if the marriage is working against a happy, meaningful life then maybe it is time for divorce.
The Team Approach
We talk about the importance of having specialists on a person or couple’s divorce team. The fact is the divorce attorney is usually the most highly-paid professional on a divorce team. Yet he or she is not a specialist in finance, mortgage lending, coaching, or therapy. It makes sense to have these professionals bring their special expertise and often lower the overall cost of the divorce.