The Gray Divorce Podcast: Episode 92 A Deep Dive into Social Security with Regina Hess, CDFA

Andrew Hatherley |

In this episode, Andrew sits down with Regina Hess, a seasoned financial advisor and divorce specialist, to unpack one of the most misunderstood—and financially impactful—topics in gray divorce: Social Security.

Drawing on years of experience, Regina explains how even financially savvy individuals often misunderstand the rules, leaving significant money unclaimed simply due to lack of knowledge.  

The Key Rules for Social Security After Divorce

Regina outlines the foundational requirements for claiming benefits on an ex-spouse’s record:

  • You must have been married at least 10 consecutive years  
  • You must be 62 or older to claim  
  • You must be unmarried (with some exceptions)  
  • Your ex-spouse must be at least 62  
  • If divorced less than 2 years, you must wait before claiming  

Importantly: 

  • Your ex-spouse does not need to approve your claim
  • Your claim does not reduce their benefit

Understanding these rules is essential—and often overlooked during divorce planning.  

The Biggest Misconceptions About Social Security

Regina highlights several myths that frequently lead to costly mistakes:

“I get my benefit AND my ex’s benefit”

Not quite. You receive:

  • Your benefit, or  
  • A “top-up” to match 50% of your ex’s benefit (if higher)  

“My ex has to approve it”

  • No approval needed—this is handled entirely through Social Security.

“It reduces my ex’s benefit”

  • It does not impact their payments in any way.

These misunderstandings can lead people to delay or avoid claiming benefits they are fully entitled to receive.  

Timing Matters: The Cost of Claiming Early

One of the most important takeaways: 

Claiming early can permanently reduce your benefit

  • Taking benefits before full retirement age results in reductions of up to 24–30%  
  • Waiting can increase benefits by 8% per year (up to age 70—for your own benefit)  

However:

  • Spousal benefits max out at full retirement age (no advantage to waiting until 70)  

Andrew and Regina emphasize that these timing decisions can impact hundreds of thousands of dollars over a lifetime.  

The Earnings Test Trap

If you claim Social Security before full retirement age while still working:

  • Benefits may be reduced if you earn above ~$24,000/year  
  • You may have to give back part of your benefits  

This often surprises people who assume they can “double dip” with income and Social Security.  

Why Divorce Planning Must Include Social Security

Andrew and Regina emphasize that Social Security is often ignored during divorce—but shouldn’t be.

Key considerations include:

  • Exchanging Social Security statements during divorce  
  • Understanding future benefit options  
  • Factoring Social Security into long-term financial planning  

For many individuals—especially in gray divorce—Social Security is a primary income source, making these decisions critical.  

Survivor Benefits: The Hidden Opportunity

One of the most powerful—and least understood—benefits is the survivor benefit.

  • You may receive 100% of your ex-spouse’s benefit  
  • You can claim as early as age 60  
  • You may have flexibility to switch between benefits  

This creates unique planning opportunities, especially for widowed or divorced individuals later in life.  

Strategic Claiming: Flexibility Matters

Unlike standard spousal benefits, survivor benefits allow for more flexibility:

  • You may claim one benefit first and switch later  
  • Timing decisions can significantly increase lifetime income  
  • Coordinating benefits requires careful analysis  

These strategies can be complex—but highly valuable when done correctly.  

Real-Life Scenarios That Matter

Andrew and Regina walk through practical examples, including:

  • Claiming early vs. waiting for full retirement age  
  • Deciding between personal vs. spousal benefits  
  • Impact of a former spouse claiming early  
  • How survivor benefits change the equation  

These scenarios highlight how small decisions can have major financial consequences over time.  

Key Takeaways

  • Social Security rules in divorce are complex—but critical  
  • You don’t need your ex’s permission to claim benefits  
  • Claiming early can permanently reduce your income  
  • Survivor benefits can significantly increase retirement income  
  • Strategic timing decisions can add (or cost) hundreds of thousands of dollars  
  • Professional guidance can make a substantial difference  

Final Thoughts

Social Security isn’t just a government benefit—it’s a core part of your retirement strategy, especially after divorce.

Without proper planning, it’s easy to make irreversible mistakes. 

With the right guidance, however, Social Security can become a powerful tool for financial stability and long-term security.

As Andrew and Regina emphasize: 

Don’t guess—run the numbers and make informed decisions.  

Resources

Regina Hess 

Andrew Hatherley