The Gray Divorce Podcast: Episode 45 Resetting after Gray Divorce - The Importance of Gratitude

Andrew Hatherley |

In Episode 45 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I discuss the importance of practicing gratitude both during and after divorce. I discuss the psychological and physical benefits of gratitude and offer some tips on how to bring more gratitude into your life while going through or emerging from divorce. 

The Psychological Benefits of Gratitude 

  • Gratitude improves psychological health by reducing a variety of toxic emotions, from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. 
  • Research has shown also that gratitude boosts self-esteem and helps to reduce comparisons you might make between yourself and other people. 
  • Gratitude also builds your resilience – People who express gratitude are more resilient and bounce back quicker from setbacks, which is essential during a divorce.  
  • Practicing gratitude can also improve your relationships whether they be existing relationships or new relationships. Showing appreciation to existing friends makes them feel more valued and helps you to have a deeper connection with them.  
  • The benefits of being thankful can also have a big effect on your children. Whether your kids are young or even adults, a divorce between parents can affect every aspect of their lives.  

The Physical Benefits of Gratitude 

  • Gratitude also improves physical health. This is partly because persistent mental stress and anguish result in large amounts of cortisol being released into the bloodstream. Excess cortisol is bad for your physical health, causing headaches and digestive issues to name a few.   
  • Divorce-related stress often leads to sleep disturbances. Practicing gratitude has been linked to improved sleep quality.  
  • People who practice gratitude are more likely to exercise regularly, eat well, and take care of their overall health. During a divorce, maintaining physical health is essential, and gratitude can play a significant role in this. 

Ways to practice gratitude during divorce 

  • Keep a gratitude journal. Each day, write down three things you are thankful for. These can be simple things, such as a kind word from a friend or a beautiful sunset.  
  • Simply expressing thanks is a great way to practice gratitude. Take the time to thank the people who support you during your divorce.  
  • Mindfulness practices, such as meditation. Spend a few minutes each day focusing on your breath and reflecting on things you are grateful for. If you are religious, prayer would be a way of releasing your emotions while asking for guidance and wisdom. 
  • Helping and being kind to others can increase your own sense of gratitude. Volunteering or simply helping a friend in need can provide perspective and remind you of the good in the world.  
  • Focus on the present. Try to appreciate the small moments of joy in your day. Literally, stop and smell the roses or smell the coffee.  


The benefits of gratitude during divorce impact every aspect of life. It is a powerful tool that can turn a painful experience into an opportunity for healing and growth. Embracing gratitude amidst the chaos of divorce can lead to a more positive and fulfilling life, paving the way for new beginnings and a renewed sense of purpose.