The Gray Divorce Podcast: Episode 12 Dating After Gray Divorce with Maria Spears

What should we know about dating after divorce? 

This episode’s guest is dating and love coach Maria Spears. Maria has helped hundreds of men and women find the love and life that they strive for. Our focus today is on dating after 50, particularly dating after divorce. 

Among the key topics we discuss: 

Knowing yourself – It’s important to identify your why. If you're putting yourself out there to date be clear about what you're looking for. Is it to meet new people and expand your social network? Do you want to experience different relationships? Are you interested/open to casual relationships? 

Take care of yourself. If you’re dating after 50, our brains are wired from previous relationships to seek out what's familiar to us. Maria discusses the process that needs to be done to identify attraction patterns and to gravitate toward the things that are happy and right for us. 

Dating is a Learning Process 

We are evolving as we date. We learn about people and learn about ourselves. Dating after divorce can be an experiment where we begin to fine tune what it is that helps us thrive in a relationship and make us a better partner. 

There's no need to rush things. Everybody has their own particular timing. Maybe if you don't find that special someone now, the timing is just not right. But in the meantime, one can try to enjoy one's life in other ways. We don't need to start dating immediately after divorce either. There's no need to rush it. 

There’s Nothing Wrong with Being Picky 

it's important that we have our red flags and our green flags. There's nothing wrong with having our list of dealbreakers or dealmakers. It's important to understand what qualities we're looking for in a person. Are they kind? Are they respectful? The qualities that make our closest friends can be the same qualities of people we're looking for in an intimate relationship. 

While it's OK to be picky we should beware of limiting beliefs we have about other people. For instance, the idea that men are only looking for attractive women or that man in a certain age group are only looking for younger women. For women, maybe your match doesn’t need to be six foot tall. For men, your match may be a size 10, not a size 2. 

You are Unique 

Everybody brings something unique to their relationships, so it's really important to accept oneself and to be able to bring that positivity into relationships. The more you can be your true self, the more you attract a partner who's looking for exactly what you have to offer. 

Suggested resources: 

Maria’s website: www.maria-spears.com 

 

Transcript

Announcement: Welcome to The Gray Divorce Podcast, hosted by divorce financial analyst and retirement planning counselor Andrew Hatherley. Join Andrew and guest experts as they help late life divorcees build the financial and mental foundation for a meaningful future. There is life after divorce. Now on to the show.

Andrew Hatherley: Hello everybody and welcome to the Gray Divorce Podcast. I'm very happy to have as a guest today, Maria Spears. Maria is a professional dating and love coach. Maria empowers her clients to date smarter and confidently choose a compatible life partner without wasting time with the wrong person, or settling for being single.

Maria has coached hundreds of women and men to overcome blocks to the love and life that they want. She guides her clients through transformational process based on her training in the fields of professional coaching, psychology, neurolinguistic programming, positive energy, progressive energy field, tapping the list goes.

Suffice to say she has a lot of experience studying dating and relationships, and has developed a process to work with her clients as she herself recovered from divorce and decades of unhappy relationships. I think you're really going to enjoy our conversation today. Maria, welcome. 

Maria Spears: Oh, thank you so much for having me, Andrew.

I can't wait to talk about this topic with you. 

Andrew Hatherley: Well, you're very welcome, Maria, and I've been looking forward to this conversation. We've both gone through midlife divorce and while we've undoubtedly had our unique experiences, I think our listeners can really benefit from your deep knowledge of the subject.

And so that brings me to my first question. I'm curious, how did you come to work in this field as a professional dating and love coach? 

Maria Spears: Well, it wasn't something that I planned to do in my life, but after my divorce as I was recovering from it I began to realize all the things that I didn't know that caused me to make the choices that I had in my own love life.

And I realized how much of it was me versus the people I was picking. And as I figured that out, I realized so much of this is learned. number one, and if you learn it and you also understand yourself, you can pick a much more compatible partner the next time around. I had previously, early in my career, coached hundreds of young people on life skills and so when I started to train as a professional coach shortly after my divorce, I just realized that this was it.

This is what I was meant to do all along. And it's just, it's my heart's purpose. 

Andrew Hatherley: You know, that's great. You said something there that really piqued my interest and I agree a hundred percent with it is about knowing yourself and before you can leap into the dating world, it really helps to have a, to work on yourself, to have an understanding of, of, of who you are.

And that'll ultimately help you understand what you're looking for and, and probably send a vibration into the world. 

Maria Spears: Yes, I wholeheartedly agree. People pick up on our energy, you know, what our underlying emotions are and our thoughts just by our body language. And so you don't have to say anything for the person across from you to really pick up on a lot.

One of the things that I advise singles, especially when they're first getting out there, is to take great care of themselves. Make sure that they are doing the discovery process, have the support they need, whether it's a divorce group, a therapist, or their group of friends who have also gone through de divorce.

That's what I did. I had a lot of support getting through an take care of themselves in terms of, you know, the basics, the exercise, the going back to nurturing themselves. Because usually by the time you end up divorced a lot of time has gone by where you have been in extreme duress, right?

And some of those things would've gone by the wayside. You would, you know, have lost some of your interests that you once had before you were married. So you need to rediscover a lot of that and that's really rediscovering yourself. 

Andrew Hatherley: It is. I mean, of course our audience is largely made up of people over the age of 50 and many who have recently gone through or are currently divorcing.

Emerging from divorce is a difficult time at the best, and I can imagine that it's probably difficult to show up as the best version of yourself in this time and probably we're prone to make mistakes. I'm sure you've probably heard lots of people emerging from divorce, making mistakes.

I'm curious. If you met somebody who was in a situation, midlife, recently emerging from divorce, what sort of advice would you give them as to how to present themselves in the dating world? 

Maria Spears: One of the things that I tell them besides what we just discussed about really doing some deep assessment work to figure out who they are and what they want, what they need in a relationship. 

One of them is to identify your why. If you're putting yourself out there to date, be clear about why you're out there. Are you out there to meet new people and to expand your social circle? Are you out there to learn more about men or women? Are you out there to experience different relationships?

Are you out there for the physical part of a relationship that maybe was missing towards the end of your last. So it's really important to know the why and I think that with all the women that I coach, I advise them to spend the first, at least three months out there getting to know different people, seeing who's out there.

Because probably the last time they dated was before they were married and they probably didn't have that much dating experience. So people have changed. You've changed, you know, so it's important to just be out there enjoying yourself with curiosity, being open to different types of people, especially people you weren't open to before you were married initially.

And not launch into a relationship. 

Andrew Hatherley: I agree a hundred percent. And that was kind of my modus operandi when I was separated after quite a long marriage. Is never to say, never about getting married again, but certainly to take it easy. But, you know, people bring with them their own personalities and their own attitudes towards relationships.

How do they avoid falling into the same traps? Falling for the same people with the same problems. And this is part of what you're saying about understanding yourself. I mean, how do you prep people when you're coaching to perhaps avoid going out there but not falling into perhaps some of the old pattern?

Maria Spears: So part of what I do with them is I teach them how their brain is wired from early relationships to seek out what's familiar to them, what was familiar with their parents, what was familiar with past loves. And so what we do is we identify what that is, the good, the bad. I work with them through multiple processes to identify what they really should be looking for especially initially as they screen people that they're dating.

So there's a process that needs to be done to identify those attraction patterns. and what I do is I help them through time, make the previously familiar patterns uncomfortable and unfamiliar, and make what is healthy in a relationship and happy and right for them, the most familiar and the thing they gravitate to.

Andrew Hatherley: It's a process, isn't it? I mean, you can have this, pre-dating work or pre-entry into the dating world work, but ultimately there's always going to be an element of learning through experience and course correcting as we go on. 

Maria Spears: That's such a good point because for most people, they do not go out to date after a divorce and right away and meet the love of their life.

Right. You're absolutely right. It's a process of learning. Through a couple of relationships, maybe one or two, maybe more, depending on where you're at and when you started the process. But yes, you evolve through it before you actually find the one, if you're interested in a partnership, 

Andrew Hatherley: And, you know, as you say, it takes time as you're identifying your why.

You know what you're looking for, whether it's to socialize with new people, to learn about the opposite sex. Because let's face it, you, well, I shouldn't even say opposite sex. It could be same sex, so don't mean to discriminate there. But you've been with one person. One would assume largely faithfully with one person, maybe not for an extended period of time.

So you had the experience of that person in a relationship, but you know, people are different. And so entering the dating world can be a bit of an experiment as well. You know, you're putting yourself out there as an experiment. Also almost in learning about embedding other people, which I suppose over the course of time could only be beneficial to what you're ultimately looking for, if that is a strong, stable, loving relationship. Learning about people along the way is probably a very positive thing. Yes?

Maria Spears: Yeah. And in all those interactions, of course, you learn about yourself. You start fine tuning what it is that helps you thrive in a relationship and makes you a better partner.

It's not just what the other person is that we're looking for, that's better than what we've had in the past, but you are learning to become a better partner. And I just wanted to speak to something you mentioned. I think it's okay, whatever it is that is your why for getting out there to date, it's okay if you want to be out there just exploring your sexuality, right? If you want to be just looking for companionship, whatever it is, as long as you are clear with yourself and you can communicate that to other people so that you're not out there potentially hurting other people.

Andrew Hatherley: Exactly, and that's so very important because as you mentioned it's quite possible and quite likely that in the course of the latter years of the marriage or maybe through an extensive period of the marriage, the sexual component wasn't very satisfying to one or both parties.

And so there's an element of that. You know, when you're entering the dating world to experience a more satisfying sex life and maybe some of course, in the process of doing that, maybe some of your encounters won't be particularly satisfying, but maybe some will, and it'll be part of the whole learning experience.

And you become much more familiar with the sort of person you are and what you like and better able to communicate that to partners going forward. 

Maria Spears: Yes. And I find that one of the things that women ask me questions relative to being active again, intimately with new people. There's a fear of not knowing what they're doing.

You know, bodies have changed. We're in a different stage in life, there's a whole lot of things that are unknowns and make dating scary to many people, including men. 

Andrew Hatherley: Yeah, men too. I mean to what extent men are sensitive to their looks and midlife compared to when they're in their twenties, perhaps.

Maybe it's not as pronounced as with women. Maybe you could answer that, but certainly we may think that we're not quite all that we used to be. And of course, the body has its natural time. Has its effects, so to speak. And so no, that's probably something that applies to both parties. 

Maria Spears: You know, I think it's equal for reasons. Our bodies don't respond the way they used to. But I think the good news in all of that is, I do believe, that in that part of relationships that will is greatly enhanced later because your wisdom and your presence you're not going at it from hormones so much as a deeper connection.

So I do feel that that part of relationships becomes more and more enhanced in later life. 

Andrew Hatherley: I agree with you a hundred percent. And what's the expression that the ultimate sex organ is our brain, and it's through communication that our sexual lives can be enhanced.

Maria Spears: Yeah. I mean, so there's many aspects of relationships that get better and better as long as we don't go out there telling ourselves, oh, I have so much baggage who's going to want me? You know who's going to put up with me? You know, seeing your wisdom and life experience as a liability. It's not.

Andrew Hatherley: Right. You mentioned something about when, in determining what your why is when you're entering the dating world. I think the key component, correct me here if you disagree, but I think the key component is the honesty. As long as you're conveying to your dating partners what you're looking for, I think they'll appreciate it.

And you know, they may not always be upset. They may want a relationship, but if you're not ready for relationship, you can say, well, I said at the outset that I'm not ready for a relationship. And ultimately they'll appreciate that. 

Maria Spears: Yes. And I'm glad you said that. For a lot of women in particular, they may not hear that initially, and it might need to be resaid because, you know, we tend to be nurturers and fixers and whatever. And so many times a person will say, well things are going so well. We're so connected, you know, this person is gonna want a relationship with me. When someone tells you upfront that they're not in that place, we have to respect that and allow them to find people who are in that space and let them go kindly. 

Andrew Hatherley: Yeah. No, that is true. And you point out perhaps a difference between men and women in that regard. I mean, I'm of the camp that there are, I don't know the way the world is going these days, I still say there are significant differences between men and women, obviously biologically.  

But that element that you said nurturing because I think there are people who think women can perhaps think that man, despite the fact that he's said that he's not interested in a relationship right now. That there might be some women who think they will nurture it and it will become that.

Maria Spears: Yes, and I find that happens in particular when they meet a man who is either still separated and going through the divorce process or very newly divorced, and I coach my clients to just allow that person to process. They have their own journey they have to go through. Right?

If you're ready for a relationship that's not the kind of person that you want. 

Andrew Hatherley: You know, that makes me think of a situation where there are people who, I don't know if it's fair to say relationship. Addicts or marriage addicts, but the idea that I'm getting at is here is they want to be married, they want to be in a relationship, and the ink will barely be dry on the divorce decree and they'll want to be in a relationship.

I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I know personally, I suspect it's not the right approach because I think anecdotal evidence would suggest that those people tend to have multiple marriage failures perhaps for not allowing that period of growth that you're talking about and understanding.

Maria Spears: Yeah. It's that, and when I see that happening, you know, what comes up for me is that there's an urge or a desire to move forward and forget the previous partner. They are really driven by fear and getting certain needs met than it is like the true connection that they truly want. They get the kind of healthy relationship they might want that didn't work out in the first time around. So I do feel that it's important to pause and not jump into a relationship right away. It's going to be the bridge relationship anyway, the rebound relationship. It's not likely to be the forever one, right? 

Andrew Hatherley: Right now I don't know if any sort of studies have been done on the time it takes to heal and to move on, and I suppose everybody's case will be different.

For me, it was 13 years. And I imagine other people would be a lot faster than that, but, I suppose it ultimately depends on everybody's personal situation, but there has to be some time given to do the self-work and the exploratory work, whether it's just getting to know people and work on yourself.

Maria Spears: Yeah, you're right, you know, the time that an individual needs in between one marriage to the next, for example, or to a life partner is very individual. But I do find that it is common for people to have, you know, 5, 7, 10, 15 years in between and that is, because during that time they might have had a couple of relationships or they were dating or they were doing something else to develop themselves right in their life.

So I feel that people should not put pressure on themselves. Don't put pressure on yourself. If you're out there you know, one wondering if it's not normal that you're not going out there and wanting to date. In fact, it is normal. So there's something inside you telling you that you're not quite ready to engauge fully in a relationship.

So honor that.

Andrew Hatherley: That's so true. I've seen clients of mine not enter the dating world, or stay away from the dating world for quite a while. And then one day I'll have a conversation and hey, what's new in your life, well, I went on match.com and I'll congratulate them because, you know, they've said they're not interested for so long, and then they've taken that step, which I think is great.

You know it's putting one foot in front of another.

Maria Spears: I agree with you. There is timing too. It's timing internally and out there what is awaiting you in the world in terms of possibilities. And so you can think about it that way, that number one, there are more than one.

There's more than one right person for you out there. And there is timing. Maybe if you're not finding someone now, maybe it's a timing thing. But you can in the meantime be trying to enjoy your life and bring love into your life in other ways. And this is something that I work on with clients but you're reminding me in your last comment of a colleague who has kept me ever since she met me three years ago, has said, I'm not ready. I'm not ready to consider dating. I hate online dating and it's been three years, but it's now okay for her to think about it. And she signed up for a workshop that I do where I help people prepare. 

Andrew Hatherley: Terrific.

Maria Spears: Yeah. So there is a timing and you just have to honor that. You can't rush it. I wouldn't. 

Andrew Hatherley: I prefer to call them deal makers rather than deal breakers. And so I came up with four deal makers for a person that I wanted to date because now I was looking for a relationship. I wanted a serious relationship.

And so, my deal makers were intelligence, kindness, independence, because I wanted an independent woman. And of course a sense of humor. I think there's one other, I can't remember right now, but what are your thoughts about lists like that? Because men, I think, I don't know if you've ever seen the movie I'm Dating Myself. These guys were sitting around a diner talking about their ideal girlfriends, and one of them had to be able to answer a certain number of questions about his favorite sports team. Now that's extreme, but I think men tend to have these lists, and I'm curious whether you think that's a good or a bad idea to have these deal breakers or deal makers as I call them.

Maria Spears: Well, I'm gonna talk about what's great about having them. and some people are told that they're being too picky. I want everyone out there to ignore that advice. You have to have a list that you're guided by when you're out there, otherwise, you're kind of like a ship without a navigation system, you know?

So you do need to have those and have them very clear. And I mean, with the people I work with, we go in-depth on what those are and what constitutes a healthy versus unhealthy relationship and what red flags are and green flags are. So I think it was brilliant that you had that list of qualities that qualifies.

That you would definitely have to have. So you know, many people are out there dating and they're looking at what commonalities do we have? Do we like Star Trek? You know, do we have certain things that we're interested in together? But if you want a long-term relationship, even if you want a companion you have to start with when you're with that person on a date, are they kind? Are they listening to you? Are they treating others respectfully or are they being abrupt and abrasive and condescending to people who come to your table? You know what I mean?

You have to look at those things right away. What qualities make your closest friends? Great people and people you are in a relationship with long-term are the same qualities you're looking for in a date. 

Andrew Hatherley: Oh, no, exactly. Exactly. I was referred to it as you don't necessarily need to be looking for a mirror image of yourself.
But you want, and I phrase it as you want someone who's pulling the oars in the same direction as you in the boat. You don't have to be. That's the thing about independence, is that we are our own people. But if we're, you know, moving together in life as a partnership, it's okay to have our separate interests.

And I think that's a good thing as well going forward. You know, it's funny because we talked a little bit about the term baggage and you could argue that people emerging mid to late-life divorce have this word baggage in the sense of if they bring their past relationship into the future or into the… What I'm struggling to say is it's the old stereotype of you don't wanna be on a date where the person across the table is talking about their ex all night.

And that's one issue that I think is probably more prevalent with the mid to late-life divorcee. And the other is a product of aging. And we tend to get a little bit more set in our ways, and maybe you could call it closed-minded or you could call it knowing what you like. I don't know quite how to phrase that, but these can be challenges for the mid to late-life divorce and mistakes that they might make along the way. I mean, a specific mistake talking about your ex, but it perhaps a mistake of approach is being a little closed-minded or too set in your ways. 

Maria Spears: Yeah, that's a real danger for just about anyone who's coming out of divorce.

It is a process of learning to open up your mindset to other possibilities than and approaches to dating and finding a partner than you ever used in the past. It is really a big turnoff for men and women if one talks about their ex early on in a relationship on first dates. For a lot of people, it's a deal breaker that they can't see past that.

Andrew Hatherley: What was the other thing that you were mentioning? We're kinda getting set in your ways and, maybe being a little rigid in your thinking. This brings up another issue because in this day and age of people rooting themselves to political ideologies it's part of this idea of getting set in the ways, and some people I'm sure are out there saying, well, I would never date a Trump supporter and other people.
I would never date a Biden supporter. And that can be a real impediment to relationships. 

Maria Spears: It can be. I think it's a bigger impediment in other ways. For example, beliefs, limiting beliefs you have out there about other people. So there may be beliefs about men are only looking for attractive women or men in this age group only look for younger women.

So some of those are bigger blocks than some of the political stuff that's going on out there. Right? Those are the things that I have to work with people to bust down more than anything. Is there preconceived notions about men or women relationships? Those are the ones that really prevent them from finding love.

Andrew Hatherley: Yeah. I could see that and that just points towards the importance of using the dating process as a learning experience in the early days, even if it's just going on coffee dates or meeting other people. And I think your emotional intelligence picks up when you take that approach as well.

We're running a little low on time here and we haven't discussed a few of of the tips, the do's and don'ts on dating. Certainly being honest and knowing what you want. Are there any other tips that you would offer for the midlife, divorcee entering the dating world?

Maria Spears: Besides not rushing into any relationships. I wanna go in the direction of a long-term relationship, at least initially. I think there's different advice one can give about being over 50 and dating again. Number one is you're likely using your dating skills that you learned back in high school and college and only what you know in one relationship that you had long term.

So it's important to upgrade.

Andrew Hatherley: There's a lot out there except if it's holding the door open, because I've noticed that's lasted the test of time. 

Maria Spears: Oh, absolutely. You know, women in our age group absolutely can still look for those things. And there's parts of the country where they aren't done and women are very disappointed, like on the West Coast

So yes, continue to do that. We love that. We love your protective nature and the way that men wanna please us in that way and make sure we're having a nice time. But yes, knowing that some of the differences between men and women, there are so many preconceived ideas that each of us has men and women about our differences.

So it's almost like you have to go back to some basics and understand how our brains are wired differently, what our motivation, how different our motivations are, how we process information and conflict, et cetera. So, there's some great programs out there too, for someone to learn about it very quickly.

Allison Armstrong is someone I highly recommend her work, as well as John Gottman and the Gottman Institute. They offer so many processes even in their books. Dating questions you can ask to determine compatibility and processes to help you as a couple become closer and develop a deeper connection.

So that's that whole area of developing yourself before you get into another long-term relationship is to upgrade your skills. 

Andrew Hatherley: You know we've discussed that a little bit before, and I want to get into it a little bit more. Because I think that's a component of, of positive psychology is really understanding yourself and understanding what your strengths are, and emphasizing your strengths.

You know, personality assessments. I don't know if you've have any thoughts on personality assessment such as the Big Five personality assessment or the Strengths Finder or using tools to get a better understanding of yourself and your life's purpose but personally, I found all those tools of positive psychology and others just very helpful in not only the dating world, but in relationships with people in general. 

Maria Spears: Yeah. I think those tools can be used as understanding and knowledge about yourself and what you bring to the table.
That's very helpful. And also to know what your baseline is, because my belief is that they assess you at where you are today, but you can choose to develop further in specific areas, right? 

Andrew Hatherley: Yeah. Right. We're not ever a finished product or we're always on a journey and hopefully I always like to say because people fall into the habit of comparing themselves with other people and you know, in the relationship world as well, because you see people on social media, Facebook posting pictures of their idyllic relationship, and more often than not, it's not as idyllic as they post on on social media.

But I always like to say don't compare yourself with someone else today. Compare yourself with you yesterday. And making these incremental, positive steps forward, which you're going to come and manifest themselves in every part of your life, in your work, and your personal relationships, your romantic relationships, friends.

So it's a journey. 

Maria Spears: Yeah. And everybody brings something unique and beautiful to the world and to their relationships. So I really believe that accepting oneself and appreciating oneself is extremely important. And being able to bring that brightness into relationships. There's a fear in our society about being entirely one's authentic self. And I really believe that the more you can be your authentic self, the more you attract a partner who's looking for exactly what you have to offer.

Andrew Hatherley: That really hits home personally, Maria, because I remember my first date with my lovely wife.

We had our first date, it was about three years ago, and I was being, I always made it an intention, after several years in the dating world, just be your authentic self. Be your true self. And which doesn't mean be a jerk but be honest and demonstrate who you are.

Right up front. And she had asked me a question about the industry we're working in because we both work in financial services. I think it was her first question to me. So we work in the same business and me, as my authentic self said, I don't wanna talk about that.

And she always laughs about it because I said let's talk about something else. She thought, oh, this date's over, there's nothing happening here. And here we are, we were married two years later. But if you're portraying yourself in an honest way and you're conveying to that person is that's who you are it's going to be a case of they'll like it or they won't. and ultimately fortunately Jackie decided that she appreciated my honesty. 

Maria Spears: That's probably one of the traits she most likes about you. 

Andrew Hatherley: Yeah, I think so. But you know, there's so much more to cover and we've gone over our time and I don't want to abuse your time, Maria.

I really appreciate you all the experience and knowledge that you bring to dating and love coaching. If our listeners would like to find out more about how they might work with you or get in touch with you how would they go about doing that? 

Maria Spears: You know, the first step I would recommend is to visit my website.

It's Maria-Spears.com. Take a look at the resources that I offer. The blogs and tips that I talk about. Also I offer small group workshops. So those are some of the ways to get in touch. Because your audience is people who are either going through or after divorce. I also appear on the Divorced Girl Smiling Podcasts so that's another major resource for whatever you might need during the process of divorce and after. 

Andrew Hatherley: Great. That's wonderful, Maria. Well, thank you very much. I'm sure everybody will look out for those ways to contact you and thank you very much. You know, there's so much we didn't cover.

I hope that you could come back and maybe we can get some of the logistical and safety items about dating, and online versus speed dating and blind dates and all that fun stuff. So if you have time in the future, I'd love to talk to you again. 

Maria Spears: I'd be delighted. Just let me know when.

Thanks so much for having me, Andrew. 

Andrew Hatherley: Thank you, Maria. Thank you.

Announcement: Thanks so much for tuning into this episode of The Gray Divorce Podcast. To learn more or get in contact with your host, you can visit Andrew's website at TranscendRetirement.net. Also, please feel free to rate, subscribe, and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. That helps others find the show and we greatly appreciate it.

Thanks again for listening, and we'll catch you in the next episode.

Andrew Hatherley: Information provided is educational only and should not be construed as legal or tax advice. Each situation is unique and should be discussed with your tax or legal advisor prior to implementation. Andrew Hatherley is not an attorney and does not provide legal advice. Information provided is financial in nature.

Advisory services offered through Haly Capital Management LLC. Divorce Financial Analysis Services offered through Wiser Divorce Solutions an affiliated company.