The Gray Divorce Podcast: Episode 77 The 3 Questions of Life-Centered Financial Planning After Divorce

Andrew Hatherley |

In this insightful solo episode, Andrew introduces listeners to life-centered financial planning, a human-first approach that prioritizes your values, aspirations, and well-being over investment returns and net worth targets.

Particularly relevant for those navigating divorce later in life, this episode offers a roadmap to finding clarity, purpose, and direction as you rebuild your life—and your financial plan.

From Money-First to Life-First

Andrew critiques the traditional model of financial planning that fixates on hitting a retirement “number”—like the old ad campaign that asked, “What’s your number?”

Instead, he proposes a better starting point: What kind of life do you want to live?

Key distinctions include:

  • Traditional approach: Begins with money → Ends with goals
  • Life-centered approach: Begins with life goals → Money supports the journey

This reframing is especially vital in the context of divorce, where life and financial realities shift dramatically.

The 3 Life Planning Questions by George Kinder

Andrew introduces the influential work of George Kinder, the father of financial life planning, and his three powerful questions designed to uncover your deepest goals and values:

  1. If money were no object, how would you live your life?
  2. If you had 5–10 years left, what would you change about your life?
  3. If you had only 24 hours to live, what did you miss, who did you not get to be, and what did you not get to do?

These questions help clients cut through surface-level goals and get to the heart of what truly matters—often centered around:

  • Family and relationships
  • Creativity and self-expression
  • Contribution and giving back
  • Spirituality
  • Connection to nature

Life-Centered Planning for the Recently Divorced

For those facing gray divorce, this episode is especially relevant. Andrew explains how life-centered planning supports individuals by:

  • Clarifying what matters most post-divorce
  • Reframing what financial “success” looks like
  • Creating a judgment-free space to explore new possibilities
  • Offering both financial and emotional guidance through major life transitions

He also shares how people can begin experimenting with their goals (e.g., renting an Airbnb abroad, joining a creative class) now, rather than waiting until retirement.

Redefining Success

Instead of chasing a magic number, Andrew encourages listeners to embrace:

  • Peace of mind
  • Meaningful relationships
  • Experiences over possessions
  • A renewed sense of purpose

Your money should fund your dreams, not delay them.

Resources

  • Website: www.transcendretirement.net
  • More on Kinder’s work: George Kinder – Life Planning
  • Related Episodes:
    • Ep 25: The Geometry of Wealth with Brian Portnoy
    • Ep 21, 22, 29, 30: Positive Psychology Tools for Divorce Recovery