The Gray Divorce Podcast: Episode 71 The "F" Word in Divorce - It's Not Fair
In this episode, I explore two powerful “F” words that surface during divorce—fair and fear—and why the second might be more dangerous than the first.
Fair is Subjective (and Often Unhelpful)
Divorce professionals often say "fair" is a bad word. Why? Because it’s emotional, not legal. Courts don't aim for fairness—they aim for what's equitable or reasonable under the law. I break down how letting go of “what feels fair” can lead to smarter financial decisions and less emotional conflict.
Fear: The Real Emotional Blocker
But the bigger “F” word in divorce? Fear.
I reflect on my own experience navigating fear during my divorce at age 52, and how that fear clouded my thinking and amplified worst-case scenarios that never came true. We discuss:
- Why fear often escalates with age—even when we’re more secure.
- How fear distorts rational thinking and impacts settlements.
- The biological roots of fear and the fight-or-flight response.
- How fear feeds avoidance and keeps us stuck.
How to Overcome Fear in Divorce and Beyond
This episode isn’t just about identifying fear—it’s about fighting it. I share practical ways older adults (and everyone, really) can reclaim their confidence, including:
- Challenging catastrophic thoughts.
- Embracing physical movement and mindfulness.
- Building social connections to reduce isolation.
- Creating structure and routines that restore control.
- Seeking professional help when needed.
Divorce may end a chapter—but fear doesn’t have to write the rest of the story.
Resources
Free Strategy Call
Book a free 30-minute financial strategy session for individuals navigating mid-to-late-life divorce.
Free Guide
Download my free guide: How to Create Financial Independence After Mid-to-Late-Life Divorce at www.Transcendretirement.net